Backing Barbie

Lately I've been feeling a bit sorry for my old friend, Barbie. I loved her as a child, not because her waist was small and her hair was shiny but because she was my friend and I told her all of my secrets when my imaginary friends stopped listening and disappeared for good.

Also because I'm pretty sure disproportionate dolls have been in children's hands since the beginning of time:

Behold, the old stick doll, brainwashing its cave-children to look more like trees.

And then we have the headless paper dolls which sold headlessness like it was some sort of sick new look. How could they! And those necks? No one has a neck that long!

The controversial "butt doll" which brainwashed an entire civilization to think that to be beautiful was to implant hippopotamus fat in their asses.

Parents feared for their children's limbs when the popular armless doll came to fashion. It wasn't long before their fears were realized when children the land over started chopping their limbs off to be more like their beloved dolls

Sure they aren't blonde and busty with a million dollar wardrobe but I'm sure they were controversial in their time. I mean just LOOK AT THEM.

Personally, I don't think Barbie is to blame for the insecurities of our (selves) little girls:

Poor misunderstood Barbie. Can someone please get her a drink?

GGC